Things Obama Hates: White People

Every morning as I awake to my Lee Greenwood alarm clock, get out of bed, salute the flag and eat my Wheaties (like the forefathers did!) I have only one thing on my mind: I must get on my knees and thank my American God for Glenn Beck. Glenn Beck, this glorious patriot, has opened my eyes to a mind-shattering truth: Obama is a racist. It's true! Why? Glenny-boy said it! Glenn Beck opened my eyes to the fact that Barack Obama is "a guy who has a deep-seated hatred for white people or white culture."

"White culture" is a vague - very vague - generalization. So vague, in fact, that not even Glenn Beck himself knows how to define it. I've decided to help out my boy Glenn and define that which Obama hates. What is white culture? For what does Obama carry a deep-seated hatred? Take me by the hand and let us discover together the bigotry running the White House.

Obama hates:

White People

You may be telling yourself "that can't be true, that's a pretty grotesque claim." But it is a true claim. TRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTH!!!!! What is a larger part of white culture than white people themselves? Answer: nothing. Nothing is a larger signifier of white culture than an actual white person. Actually, that's false. There is one signifier of white culture that is better than a white person, and that is several white persons: white people.

Obama has a deep-seated hatred for white people. As the scripture says "where two are three honkies are gathered, there will Obama hate them." (Matthew 18:20) He hates their narrow noses, he hates their rosy complexions, he hates their hatchbacks and their NorthFace half-zip fleeces. But most of all, he just hates THEM. How do we know this? First and foremost, because Glenn Beck told me that Obama is "a guy who has a deep-seated hatred for white people." But if that is not enough proof for you, let's look at some other reasons!

Obama is trying to pass health care reform, which at one point included a public option. His desires to provide health care to every American are a direct thumb to the nose to white people. Why? Because it would provide health care to minorities and illegal immigrants. (Two groups he likes, probably because he's both a minority - black - and an illegal immigrant - Kenyan - he favors these groups) How would he pay for minority and immigrant health care? By using the money of white people who have worked very hard for it. He wants to steal their money then redistribute it! That definitely proves he hates white people!

Obama had a friend who is African American who was arrested for a misunderstanding that was blown way out of proportion. Obama called white people stupid because of that. End of story. Nothing else happened, and there is nothing else to speak about with this subject. He said white people were stupid. In context, probably, too!

Obama has czars: lots of them. He even made this one black czar retire so Glenn Beck could win at everything. (Whooooo!) Why did he make the black one retire? So he could have a bunch of white czars. Now, you may be confused by this. You say, "If he hates white people so much why would he have so many cabinet members (or czars for short) that are white or white-ish? Wouldn't they technically be considered white(ish) people?" Yes, they do count as white people. (well, except for Kathleen Sebelius who's pretty scarily thug) But think about it, he wants white czars because what happened to the czars? THEY WERE KILLED! It's symbolic! He wants white people killed like the czars were killed! And who killed the czars? More white people! So he's promulgating the idea that white people are violent and kill other white people! What more proof could you ask for???? One more creepy thing: Who killed the czars? Communists, Marxists, Communist-Marxists, Socialists and sociologists! HE'S A COMMUNIST WHO HATES WHITE PEOPLE. Who wants whites to die like the czars! Who wants to steal white money and give it to undeserving people! Who thinks whites are stupid! Who hates your Toyota Corolla! What has happened to this country???????

People, these are some scary times we're living in. But trust in me and what I tell you and we'll make it through together. I'll be back soon, and together we will discover even more things that Obama hates.